War and Love
by DancinAngel-love
Summary: Jasper in the newborn wars, when Peter and Charlotte leaves. He wonders if there's anyone out there for him.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight.

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><p>The years were long, the battles were easy, but I never have had much joy in them. Having to train newborns then kill them once they were useless, grew tiring. I wanted out, I wanted away, but there was few ways out, and few ways away but death. I had no joy in dieing, a part of me knew I didn't need to, that their was something out there that needs my attention. Whether it's a person, or another war, there is something else I need to do, somewhere else I need to be. I just didn't know what that was yet.<p>

"Jasper." Her voice whispered in my ear. "Its time for you and Peter to dispose of them." Her voice, icy and cold whispered again. This time I felt her hand on my shoulder as she walked in front of me, he same old smile that seemed so kind, but wasn't. I nodded my head sharply, and turned out the door. I didn't want to be subjected to her games this time, I just wanted to do what I had to, then be left alone for awhile.

Walking out I saw Peter waiting on me. He was making sure the newborns stayed where they were while I took them one by one and dispose of them.

"Hey Major." He greeted, I nodded to him and motioned for one of the newborns to walk with me. They all think that I was just going to give them some tips. I reassured him on the walk talking to him like I was his friend. When we got far enough we stopped, I waited for a few moments before turning quickly bringing him into a headlock. My grip on his neck tight as I turned his head. I felt his fear, and betrayal, it stayed with me, even after I snapped his neck and threw his piece into a fire. I waited for a few moments getting use to the emotion. I would have to live with this emotion for the rest of the night, and it would just get worse with each person I killed. But I had to at least be able to deal with it some before I started killing them quicker.

It continued like that. I killed one then came back for another, none of the newborns expected it. And each time, the fear and betrayal got stronger. Sighing, I rubbed my temples as I made my way back for the next one. Getting there I placed my hand on the shoulder of a young female. Charlotte I think was her name. "Come on." I whispered taking my hand off her and turning to walk away. I felt something outplace. I felt fear, and there was no reason for anyone to be afraid yet.

"Char, run!" Peters voice rang through the air. It happened so fast, Peter knocked me against a tree while the young woman ran. "I can't let you kill her Jasper." He growled and jumped away from me running after her. I went to chase after them, but I couldn't pull myself to. I could have caught them, but I didn't want to. I stood there watching them run, until I couldn't see them anymore. I looked at the rest of the newborns still alive, all looking confused, anxious, worried, angry, and scared. Now I had to find away to get rid of them without help.

"Tell you guys what, start killing each other, the last one standing gets a reward." I stated sharply. They would listen, they always listen to orders. One look of confusion and fear swept across there faces before they attacked each other. Growls and snarls filling the air as they fought. The smell of venom and smoke as one started a fire.

Turning my back I crept back towards the camp. Maria was waiting for me, she looked amused as she gazed past me to the group of fighting newborns. I choose to let her live with her amusement, without me.

"Jasper, wise move on your part to let them fight amongst themselves. But it was a foolish move to let Peter run off with that girl." The first part came out cheerful, the last cold, and she turned on me with that stern disappointed look. I stiffened slightly. She laughed lightly. "I'll forgive you this time though, you must be tired. Go rest, I'll take care of the survivor." She smiled showing her glistening white teeth. Looking like a demon, a very beautiful demon. I didn't argue with her though, the last thing I needed was to be punished, all I wanted to do was go have a break, get rid of these emotions, and understand why I let Peter and Charlotte go. So nodding my head I walked off into the camp, heading to a quite place.

The sounds of the newborns killing each other grew distant as I went further, leaving the camp. My quite place wasn't in camp, it was never quite there, so I found me another place. Getting there I settled against a tree over looking a small river that cut through the land, I stared at it wondering if I would ever feel how I felt Peter feel when he saved Charlotte. If I would ever feel the protect, that love for someone. I knew why I let them live, let them run. Because they loved each other, and because I care about Peter. He became my brother. I ant them to be happy, I want them to have a chance outside of war and death. That's why I let them run, it has to be. I can't think of no other reason.

I closed my eyes, not really sleeping since I couldn't, but drifting. Thinking about life outside of here, and if there was anyone that I would want to protect like that, anyone I would go against my Major to protect. If what I remember from when I was human there is, because my mama always said there was someone out there for everyone. Even though I don't believe it for me, I'm to much of a monster to love and be loved.

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><p>Okay so this is a one shot about Jasper, unless you guys would like me to turn it into a multi chapter, that turns into a JasperAlice fic. If so review and let me know, if not then it is complete.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so I was asked to countinue this, so here you go.

Disclaimer on the first chapter.

**Edit - I added on to this chapter at the end to make it longer.**

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><p>"Jasper." A voice rang through my ears, it was sweet, and kind, I thought I was dreaming, it wasn't a voice I recognized. "Jasper." The voice kept repeating, but now I wish it would stop, it became a voice recognized one I despised lately. "Jasper, stop being a fool and open your eyes, you know as well as I do, vampires don't sleep." Her voice knocked the last bit of warmth I felt from the voice before hers. I didn't know the voice, but I craved to hear more of it, it made me calm. I wished that vampires did sleep, then maybe I could have had a face along with the voice. "Jasper, you have to the count of three then I'm sending a few newborns to get you up. One…" My eyes snapped open as I stared up at her, she smiled down at me. "Figured that would work."<p>

I stared at her, red meeting red, as I slowly stood up. "Yes ma'am." I said smoothly awaiting orders.

"I took care of the winner of the battle. I also created some newborns that need you attention. When you have them all trained, you'll be allowed to choose the one you wish to replace Peter." I nodded slowly, "You start their training tomorrow at sunrise. Understood?" I nodded again.

"Understood Ma'am." She smiled and walked forward placing her hand on my cheek. "No more mistakes like yesterday." She turned walking away and I stared after her for a moment. Glancing up at the night sky I estimated that I had about seven hours before sunrise. Seven more hours of peace.

Sighing I sat back down and stared at river, my mind on nothing but the voice I heard, the voice my mind tricked me on when Maria was talking. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I stared blankly at the water, perhaps my mama was right, perhaps there is someone out there for everyone, maybe that voice I heard was to give me hope, to push on. But I had no hope here, yes Maria relied on me, I could feel it in her emotions but I still had no hope if I stayed here. But what other options did I have? There wasn't anything out there besides this, this is the only life for a vampire.

_**SEVEN YEARS LATER**_

Seven years, seven years since Peter left with Charlotte, seven years added to the many I've been with Maria. Seven more years of emotions I can't stand. Seven more years and I had enough. I was back to the task of killing of the vampires who have out lived their strength, I have already done twelve and each times their emotions get worse, and worse. Driving them deeper and deeper into me, making me feel their pain as if it was my own, I felt for them, I could have cried for them, it was getting harder and I'm not sure I could take much more of it.

Leaning against a tree after having finished off the twelfth newborn today I closed my eyes. I didn't want to do this, I couldn't do this. I had to leave. But how, I knew when, when was now… or as soon as possible. But how, is the thing stopping me.

Major? You okay?" One of Marias more trusted vampires like me was now standing next to me, looking at me with concern. I nodded.

"Yeah, just taking a moment." He nodded slowly, a bit worried. That's when it hit me, the newborns were my way out. "Go on back to camp, I have to finish up the newborns." He nodded and strolled off, I waited for him to be gone and rejoined the newborns who I was suppose to be killing. "Your dismissed." I told them all. Each one left heading back to the others.

I focused on my emotions, and sent waves of worry through out the camp, fear, and anger, mixed into it. I messed with as many newborn emotions as possible, until the fight started to break out, as newborns attacked anything and anyone.

"Jasper!" I could hear Maria screaming over the snarls and growls of the newborns. She was yelling at me to fix it. I merely shook my head and turned running into the forest. Not looking back, just running, and running as far as I could. I wanted out, and I was getting out, I felt no remorse for toughs the newborns were probably killing at camp, I felt no remorse if they killed Maria. She was after all a puppet master, and I was her puppet, but who was the controller now, me or her? Or perhaps neither.

I won, I'm convincing myself of that, I won out of her game, I was no longer in her control, and what ever awaited me in the near future I welcomed with open arms. I was ready for anything, and everything. Nothing would hold me back, and nothing would turn me back to her. My first goal now was to find Peter, he would explain to me what the world outside f Maria control is like. I knew he would.

I ran, I ran until I couldn't hear the snarls and growls from the camp anymore, I ran until I was sure no one was following me. The further I ran, the more space I out between me and that camp, the more I let my mind wonder. It wondered about what was out there besides war, after that it found its way back to the voice I heard instead of Maria's. I listened to the voice clearly repeat my name, over and over in my mind as I ran. The sweet angelic sound, the soft way it spoke. The kindness and hopefulness I could plainly hear even without the feel of emotions.

My mind worked together a face to go long with the voice, she was beautiful in my mind, though incomplete. She had medium length black hair, the pale complexion off all vampires, a bright smile that light up the night, her eyes were empty though, that startling red that held no emotion. That's what was incomplete, there was something off by the eyes, they didn't belong to the face, or the voice. But that was the only eye color available in the vampire world. There was no amazing blues, or startling greens. No unique betweens, or interesting browns, nor were there any other colors. Only the red that reminded me that I was a monster, that reminded every vampire that they were a monster, it suited all vampires I've seen, but this face it did not suit.

Even though she was beautiful in my mind, I have learned that beauty isn't everything. Beauty can still hold evil, and can not always be the best thing. Even if I had a preference in looks, I have more of a preference in who she is. I would want someone who was my rock, who would keep me grounded, understand my past, someone who can look past the monster in me, someone who I can love, and feel her love. I just want the most caring, an extraordinary creature in the world. I want that one person who is always happy, and excited, the person who is lovely, and kind, but isn't afraid to correct me when I'm wrong. In the end, I guess I would be looking for my soul mate, the person who completes me, but if I ever had the courage to find her, I would. She would be the person I would talk to without thinking. She would be my everything, if it was even possible for me to love.

'Yes it is Jasper, everyone has someone out there for them, and everyone can love.' My mommas voice whispered through my mind, her voice were one of the few I remembered from being human. That was one of the few voices I've ever had in m life, and still have that gives me hope. Even if I can't see my momma anymore, her voice still gives me hope, it makes me believe that there is something out there for me. Now I just had to believe it and learn what it is I'm truly searching for. Then I would truly have a purpose to live. I smiled to myself, hope once again feeling me, as I made my way on.

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><p><strong>Now random 2 questions involving the story.<strong>

1. Would you like me to countnue and show part of his life with Peter + Charlotte, then later on have him and Alice meet

2. Was this chapter okay?

_Please review and let me know_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Haha I'm impressing myself, not really I'm just shocked I made this into more then a one-shot.

Thxz to ya'll anyways. :)

Disclaimer can be foound on chapter one. Along with the summery.

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><p>A snarl ripped through the night echoing through the small wooded area, as I found myself face to face with a pair of furious red eyes, the scent was recognizable, I felt a pang of hurt and self hatred hat he was growling and mad at me, that he wanted to kill me.<p>

"Peter…" I said slowly sending waves of calm and trust. "I-"

"Don't lie Jasper, your not killing Charlotte." He said sternly, angrily, the protectiveness in his voice was obvious.

"Peter, I'm not here to harm either of you… please just hear me out brother." I spoke solemnly, using brother to symbolize the bond we once had in the camp. He froze and studied me curiously but still cautiously.

"I can't believe you Jasper." I lowed into a stance as he got ready to attack me. Part of me screamed for me to fight, another part was saying to let him kill me, a smaller part was telling me to keep talking. It wasn't surprising to see the stronger of the three, the need to fight the need to fight take over, blocking the two others from my mind, bringing the monster out calling him by name.

"Peter!" A voice called just s we lunged for each other, Peter jerked back from me dodging away from my grasp, I turned angrily watching him but was slowly calming. I watched Charlotte make her way in-front of Peter turning on me with black eyes. "Jasper." My name came out as a growl, but I merely nodded a greeting. "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Well.." I begin explaining everything to the both of them, watching them to make sure they weren't about to attack me. Neither one of them had calmed down yet, and both had a disbelieving look in there eyes when told them about how I got away. "I'm not here to hurt you guys." I spoke slowly still watching them.

"Whys it so hard to believe you?" I winced from Charlottes statement.

"Because you think I'm doing what Maria commanded, but I've never lied to any of you guys." The truth was solid in my voice. Pater froze at the statement, his eyes softening.

"Your right, you haven't ever lied to us. Even when you had to kill the newborns. You told the truth, and always held regret afterwards." I watched him, a part of me hoping he would allow me to travel with him, another part still wishing he would just kill me. "And you have lied to Maria before. To protect newborns, I want to believe you Jasper, it's just hard when I have a mate to protect."

"I know. I looked him directly in the eyes. "But I'm asking for you to believe me." Him Charlotte shared a look, both of them speaking silently to each other.

"We will give you a chance Jasper." Peter spoke slowly, watching me cautiously.

"Thank you." He nodded to me taking Charlottes hand he led me to their home.

"This is it." Peter spoke coming up on a small house located in the middle of the woods, it looked cozy, it also looked as if they haven't been living here long. "Its not much, but its home." He spoke again while smiling towards the house as Charlotte pulled him up to the door. I followed along, looking around the place in wonder, it was a nice place. Quite, a good place for Peter and Charlotte.

"Its nice." I commented while following them in. Charlotte turned smiling at me, the only true smile she gave me since I saw her, Peter even offered a small one. "Thanks ." She looked around the place "I do try to keep it looking good, though I can't do much with us moving all the time." HS e seemed to have pouted a bit at this, but brightened up pretty fast. I chuckled softly at her excitement.

Peter raised a brow at me then shrugged it off. "I know you we don't sleep, but if you want privacy your welcome to the guess room." He said slowly while motioning me to follow him. I followed of course, walking up the small flight up steps leading to the seconded floor. Opening a door he led me into a small nicely decorated room. "This is the guest room. Or your room for now." He said motioning around the place. "I may have some clothes you can borrow till you get your own." I looked at him curiously, with Maria I've always had this same outfit. I always wore my majors clothes, and now Peter was telling me I had to get new ones. "Jasper, the clothes stand out to much." He said as if he could read my thoughts, though I was sure it was because he had to go through the same thing.

"Fine." I said while sitting down on the corner of the bed.

"Here." Peters clothes landed on the ground in front of me . I looked up to see Charlotte frowning while looking at the bed. "Get a shower to, your getting the sheets dirty." I frowned confused at the word shower. "it's a bath." She pointed to a door right across form my room. I nodded slowly.

"Okay." Gathering the clothes I went to take a bath then change into some clean clothes, before Charlotte decided to have my head.

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><p>Questions:<p>

**1.)** Was it good?

**2.)** Charlotte and Peter weren't to OCC?

**3.)** Thinking of ending this story when he meets Alice. Think I should? or Before he meets her?

Thank you for reading, have a nice day and I'll update as soon as I can.


	4. Chapter 4

Been Such along time. So sorry everyone!

So yeah this chapter will be a bit strange... and short, I'm honestly hoping to get more into it. Or I might re-vamp and start over a bit. So So So Sorry. *hides behind jasper*

Disclaimer: I do not own this, nor am I making profit from it.

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><p>"You know, me and Char were coming back for you." Peters voice spoke from my door, glancing over I saw my old friend leaning against the frame, looking like a teenage with nothing to do.<p>

"Then why did you distrust me?" I asked slowly keeping a check on his emotions. Peter laughed, a boyish sound that came from deep down, it wasn't the military solid chuckle I was use to it, it held emotion in it that you could spot without being an empathic.

"Jasper.. We left you with Maria, we were being safe. Don't act like you wouldn't have done the same." He gave me a slight grin, and I could see the silent apology it offered.

"Your right.. I would have done the same." I said pausing silently for a moment. I couldn't blame them for something I would do as well.

"You taught us better then you think you did." Peter spoke with a slight grin. It was strange, he never really grinned or smiled at all when we were in the camp. I wondered slightly how often Charlotte smiled now. And if it made them more happy to be free, or more happy to be together and alive.

"Seems I have." My voice was slow but not surprisingly still calm and kept the normal major tone it always was no matter what the situation.

Peter merely smiled then turned to walk off. "We're going hunting in a bit, feel free to join us major." He walked off with that, not turning to spare me another glance, I smirked slightly that was the Peter I knew, the same brother I knew.

I might can handle this.

**MARIA'S POV**

_How? How is it possible that he left? My best soldier. And he wasn't just a soldier, he was my best puppet. Ready to bow and serve me no matter what it was. But he left. He shouldn't have been able. _I was in a blind rage. _Jasper Whitlock. He escaped me, after letting his two friends escape, he turns and leaves. He want get far though. Oh no I'll have him back here, and the punishment for leaving will be more than he can bear. _

Twisting a knife I had laid out on the table I watched in mock interest at the strange gleam of the blade, a gleam that only shows hen werewolf venom was on it. Painful it was to vampires. And Jasper hates it. He's always hated any punishment I would come up with. I always thought that maybe it was because he was a bit weak. But its his pride really. And damaging that was almost as fun as damaging his eternity. He will suffer greatly for this. His little friends as well.

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><p>I'm for real that was short to short for me not to have updated in so long but this chapter just needed to go, and if anyone who reads this would like to fuse then be my guess. But I promise I have planes for the next chapter! It will be better, and longer. I swear.<p>

Some planes I'm thinking of pursuing just so you guys know I'm serious.

- Jasper thoughts on a mate

- Maria hunting the three down

- Alice POV of when she wakes up (Though I'm thinking of making a seperate story prehapes for this...)

- Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte fighting some of Maria's newborns.

etc. No worries.

So yeah... till next time. *Hiding behind Jasper, and Peter.*


	5. Chapter 5

So as promised here's more and it is long!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of tis characters.

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><p>JASPER'S POV<p>

Three weeks with Jasper and Peter. Three weeks of slowly breaking out of the military ways. Three weeks with no Maria, and no battle, or training. Three weeks, with the only thin that hasn't changed is the human blood. The pain, and fear, that comes with every meal. That, scars and Peter and Charlotte are the only things I really have of the war life with me after three weeks.

And I can say I like it a bit more. But I still don't throughly enjoy it. Really it's turned my life into a meaningless thing. With Peter and Charlotte I'm a friend now as they say. But my meaning here with them is nothing. They have each other, and the other is what gives them meaning in life. The only meaning I ever had was military, murders, fighting, and Maria.

But she isn't my meaning any more, I'm starting to believe she was never meant to be part of my meaning. Looking back its obvious I was her puppet. She tortured me when I displeased her, humiliated me when she pleased. Loved me only when she needed something. I was a puppet, and she pulled the strings. Taking her out only left war as my meaning, being a major of an army as my meaning in life. But I don't even have that now, nor am I seeking to have it again.

If I must I would live a meaningless un-dead life. Until my existence comes to an end.

Sitting here now, in the small living room belonging to Peter and Charlotte. I feel life its self mocking me. Laughing, sneering, pushing me in directions I don't want to go, parts saying go back to Maria, I'll refuse to the end. Another part begging I wander off, search for a meaning. something I don't see the point in.

"Major? Major Whitlock?" Charlotte's voice. Slightly annoying since her and Peter believe they must still call me Major. Looking up at her now I force a smile.

"Yes Charlotte what is it?" I questioned as nice as I could. My attitude was starting to change to. Then again though I've always been softer around these two. Thinking of Peter as a brother, and Charlotte a sister in-law.

"Did you never find a mate while in Maria's army? Even after we left?" She spoke kindly. "And please don't say Maria. I don't believe she was your mate… neither of you ever looked at the other with love, nor acted in love towards the other…." She trailed off when I gazed at her a bit more sternly then I intended.

I remained silent, and she didn't speak a word, didn't even meet my gaze. That didn't surprise me really. Charlotte was a really outspoken woman, she spoke her mind. She didn't fear to many people. Even towards me she would on occasions speak her mind, but most the time she was more afraid of me, just as she was of Maria. From experience I knew though, if you ever succeeded in making her mad she would sit you down and have a talk with you. She always found a way to get what she had to say out, to Peter, to other comrades she had during her time in the battle, and to me on a few rare occasions. But now I saw that bit of hidden fear, and that what didn't surprise me. It upset me in a way more. I really didn't want Peter nor Charlotte to see me as a major any more, nor did I want them to fear me. But they did.

"No Charlotte. I never found a mate." I spoke up, if I don't want her to fear me then I need to let her see she can treat me as she would any other family or friend. Let her learn that I am her equal now, as I should have been before.

"Oh… what would you want in a mate?" She questioned, a bit more brave, I could feel the braveness coming from her as if she was starting to realize she didn't have to fear asking me some things. Letting myself send off reassuring waves to help her out I thought over the question. What would I want? Honestly I didn't know. I never really took the time in thinking of what I would want in a mate.

Obviously it would have to be a female. I wouldn't really want anyone taller than me, someone that isn't controlling but could still keep me in line I reckon. Not really anyone who would be overly excited, and is really wild, I would like them to be calm… Perhaps a girl with black hair, a really pale complexion. A vampire for sure.. Maybe I don't know really.

"I don't know…" My voice sounded distant but then again m thoughts were kind of distant to. Charlotte just nodded a small smile playing on her lips.

She reached over placing a hand on my knee. "Maybe one day you'll find her." She grinned suddenly, it light up her whole face. "When you do you must let me meet her!" I just nodded mutely as I forced my own smile to stay off my face. "Now come on I was suppose to be retrieving you for the scheduled weekend hunting trip!" She grabbed my hand pulling me to my feet and out the door.

I didn't fight her, just followed her out as she dragged me to the door and into the yard where Peter was waiting. He nodded to me a smile also playing on his lips. They were both more happy and relaxed then they ever were when they were in Maria's army.

"Ready?" Peter spoke, talking to us both as he studied us, once we nodded we headed out. Remembering clearly in out heads not to cause suspicion and to be careful.

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><p>Next update hopefuly soon, don't shoot me if it isn't..<p> 


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